Feeling Down

             I can’t help but feeling down today. When the job you do is not good enough and then you are punished for it, it really deflates your ego. The pep that has been in my step the past 11 days is all but gone. The incentive to give 110% is no longer within me. I know my weight causes my 110% is probably the same as a healthy person’s 70%. I am trying to lose weight though. I wish I could snap my fingers and lose 200 pounds, but I can’t. This is going to take time and I am not sure if my current employer is willing to wait. The job description I was given upon being hired was not accurate and has continued to change. I am not big on change, obviously or I would not weigh over 500 pounds. Apparently, my hours are going to be cut because another person will be hired. I can barely pay my bills now. I am trying to trust that God knows what He is doing. I know He does, but I am still upset. I really want to order a pizza or two double cheeseburgers from Sonic. Oh my gosh, either would be so good! I hope I can be strong and not give in to temptation. Will my broccoli, potatoes, and pork chops be as good tonight? I feel like crying. I want cupcakes.