I have worked at Kmart for over 12 years. Sometimes I think I should have foregone school since I ended up at a dead end job anyway. Going to college is supposed to make all of your dreams come true, right? Not for me, apparently. I am so unhappy. My managers (not all mind you) seem to think I am a child who cannot do anything right. I felt more valued when I was just starting out. I am trying to have faith in God's plan for my life. Some days it is so hard to thank God for what He has given me because I feel like I should have more. I worked for it, so why do I not possess it? I have a theory that God uses good and bad situations to draw people closer to Him. I taught Pre-K for two years. During this time, I did not attend church that often, nor pay my tithes. I feel like God looked down and said, "Well, that wonderful job did not make her want to give everything to me, so now I am going to take EVERYTHING away!" So, now I am stuck back at Kmart, barely making ends meet.
I also think that perhaps God is waiting on me to make the first move and try to lose weight. I mean really try, by praying and reading His word. I feel like my body is attacking me and that I will not make it if do not lose weight. I really don't see my future after the age of 35. I can't see me having a family or a career in teaching. I am fatigued most of the time and in pain all of the time. I hate to start the year out with so many complaints, but I need to stop holding this stuff in.
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